My mom is an incessant worrier. Something is wrong if she has nothing to worry about. Now, this is okay except for the fact that her worrying causes everyone around her to worry as well. On top of that, I have somewhat inherited her constant angst. And on top of that, my parents still try to dictate my life to a large extent.
So I am at college now, but my parents pay for everything (for which I am extremely grateful). They give, however, one stipulation: I have to keep my grades up. If I don't, then I'm punished (they stop paying for school). Imagine the anxiety this causes. I'm constantly asking myself, "Are my grades high enough? How long do I have to study in order to get an A?" and so on.
First off, school should be about learning, not about grades. Grades are a decent measurement of progress, but the point of school should not be to get good grades, but rather to get a good education.
But that's not even the point of this post. My main point is that there has to be a better motivator than worry. It seems as though my parents have done things that have only caused more worry and more anxiety, yet is this really the most powerful motivator there is? Can't we find a better way to motivate people to do well in school? at work? in general? Do we really want everyone in the world to be gray by their 30th birthday?
It seems to me that, at least as far as an education is concerned, a love of learning would be a much better motivator than worry. For work, a love of work would be a better motivator, or a desire to be able to provide for one's family.
So why do people still try to motivate through fear and worry? It is entirely underproductive. If you want someone to do something, show them why it's important, why they should care, why it's interesting; don't punish them for not living according to your standards. Eventually, people will do what they want anyway, so the only way to enlist people's help is by helping them to want to help.
How does one do that, you ask? Well, basically, it depends on the person; there is no one right way to accomplish this. But this is the way it must be done.
