Living the Question

Rainer Maria Rilke once wrote, "I would like to beg you dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign langauge. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."

I rather like this quote. Probably because it was shared with me shortly after I had come to the same conclusion. Living the question should be our goal, not living the answer. Which is a rather difficult thing to grasp. I still don't fully understand it and I've been trying to do it for a few years now. And yet I really think it's the way each person should live. Allow me to explain.

Each of us has family and friends, people we love. I imagine that most people believe in the idea that we should try and love all mankind, each and every person. Perhaps with the rare exception, such as Adolf Hitler or Osama bin Laden, but for the most part, we should love everyone.

How do we do this, however? There are many answers out there. The most common one is probably the well-known Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." A great sentiment. One that is common in my church is service. If we want to love someone, we should serve them. Another great sentiment. And there are many more out there.

But I can't help think that maybe in answering the question we've missed the mark. As we interact with another person, whether it be through talking or actions, we should not be thinking, "I must treat this person as I want to be treated." Instead, in my opinion at least, we should be thinking, "How can I best love this person?" A question should guide our actions, not an answer. If I'm a parent and my kid disobeys me, rather than deciding that either justice or mercy is the correct answer, I should ask myself, "What is the best course of action with this child in this situation?"

If we want to be the best person we can be, we must realize that each context, each set of circumstances, is different. And I don't know about you, but for me living the question is the only way I have even the slightest chance of doing something resembling the right thing.