Saturday, August 15, 2009

Certainty

So one of the sessions at the Sunstone Symposium was about how members of the Church are too certain about some things that might not be true. I really resonated with this, because I've recently come to the same conclusion, especially about myself. I started this after the Church came out against Prop 8.

See, as with any new commandment or doctrine from my Priesthood leaders, I prayed about it to get my own testimony. The difference this time was that I got an answer that I shouldn't support Prop 8. I shouldn't be openly against it, but neither should I be openly for it. Now, every other time I can remember--other than a couple times on my mission, but that was zone leaders, not General Authorities--I always received an answer in accordance with the new doctrine/commandment/whatever. Until now.

At first I thought I must've misinterpreted my impression, so I prayed again. And got the same answer. This process was repeated a good 4 or 5 more times before I finally decided that I hadn't been mistaken after all.

Except now what?

Suddenly if supporting Prop 8 wasn't right for me, what about other declarations from the General Authorities? Could I trust them? If so, for how long? I was reminded of polygamy and blacks and the Priesthood, where the Church completely reversed its position. What could I be certain about?

Since then I have been systematically going through different aspects of the Gospel trying to figure out whether it's actually an eternal princple or law, or whether it's something subject to change; and thus not something I should be completely certain about.

(See, I worry about what would happen if I was certain about something that the Church then reversed directions on. Would my faith sustain me?)

Either way, I have found precious little that I can actually be 100% certain about. Faith, love, prayer, scripture study, the Atonement and Plan of Salvation, that this is God's Church; a few other things, but much less than others seem to think I should be certain about. You know, though, I don't think I agree with them.

1 comment:

Marcia said...

I've gone through a lot of soul searching, especially lately. I can absolutely see what you are saying. It is a strange feeling to realize how much uncertainty there really is. I get it, Pete.